i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
why does every cop we meet know your name?
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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