Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
Randomize
