Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
Randomize
