I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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