Kareoke will never be a sober sport
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
Randomize
