Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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