she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
Randomize