alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
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