would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
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