That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
I skipped work to stalk him.
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
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