She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
I need moral support for this bender
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
Randomize
