So drunk, too bad you don't want this
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
Randomize
