Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
Randomize
