Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
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