Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Randomize