yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
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