Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
Randomize
