Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
he told me I talked like a deaf person
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
Randomize
