The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
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