never play flip cup with pint glasses
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
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