So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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