how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
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