I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
The chlamydia really affected his face.
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
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