Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Randomize
