If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
Randomize
