Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
Randomize
