M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
Randomize
