you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
Randomize
