i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
Randomize
