With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
