i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
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