I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
Randomize
