you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
Randomize
