My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize
