getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
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