Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
Randomize
