im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
ttyl tear gas
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
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