No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
Randomize
