i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
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