I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
