"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
Randomize
