apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
Randomize
