Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
Randomize
