I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
You were trust falling into bushes
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
