I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
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