im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
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