dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
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