I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
Randomize
