Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
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