There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
hell yes lets make some ravioli
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
Randomize
