she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
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