i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
I came so hard my ears popped.
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
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