; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
