We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
You're earring is so big in my mouth
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
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