If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
Randomize
