Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
