I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
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