your thong is hanging out like whoa
actually, I'm a sock model
Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
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