Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Randomize
