i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
They took my balls.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
