It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
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