The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
I want her autograph on my taint
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
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