Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
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