Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Randomize
