Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
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