You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
Randomize
