Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
Randomize