She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
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