Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
Randomize
