Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
Randomize
