I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize
