I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
