ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
Randomize