I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
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