I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
Randomize
