Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
Randomize
