: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
Randomize
