Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
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