My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
