His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
Randomize
