im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Randomize
