i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
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